from Carol

Each time the holidays approach, I am reminded of family gatherings when I was a young child.  The beautiful moments of food, frolicking and football were always scattered among a few arguments about God or politics or the best make and model of a favorite car.  Things haven’t changed much, and although these conversations are mostly unimportant and inconsequential, they evoke some pretty powerful words and emotions.

CP is a small school and I often {jokingly} say that it is like Thanksgiving… every day.  Meaning, that due to the intimacy level, the students often speak and act toward one another like siblings or close family members.  On a daily basis, there are students helping students, playing a chess game or two, walking and grooming the animals, and collaborating on a project.  There is also the occasional argument.  With awareness, these disagreements can be used as excellent learning opportunities.

One such moment occurred recently –  some of our students experienced some family/brotherly arguments and altercations. While it is never appropriate to be disrespectful, it does happen.

We took this opportunity to discuss, in small groups, the following items:

1) Our words are as powerful as our fists and both need to be respectfully honored and controlled.

2) Our actions and behaviors have the ability to build up each other and the group, or tear them down.

3) Confronting our shortcomings and speaking our understanding and apologies to one another face to face, and acknowledging our own insecurities can be humbling and provide healing.

Although there are times that behaviors occur and things are said that are not appropriate and certainly not expressing the highest version of ourselves, we learn to be compassionate, patient, and an exemplary part of a larger community.

Let is remember to focus on the long term positive expectations of character that we hold for our children, instead of on the temporary and occasional lapse or regression.

And, of course, let us remember to always model that which we want followed.

I am reminded of the Four Agreements of Toltec wisdom: 1) be impeccable with your word; 2) don’t take anything personally; 3) don’t make assumptions; 4) always do your best.

I encourage you to share and discuss these with your children at your next family gathering.  If you are interested in reading the book with your family… it will serve you and your family well… with many giving thanks.